HOMOSEXUALITY: WHAT ABOUT IT?

With much ado over being gay or a lesbian in recent times, the need arises to understand what homosexuality really entails. Is it inborn? Can it be changed? What really is it? Homosexuality is a romantic and/or sexual attraction to persons of the same gender. The history of homosexuality dates way back to ancient Greek and Roman literatures. There are also the earliest stories of lesbianism in the Arab literature (Encyclopedia of Pleasure). There is no specific explanation on who it started with. I would rather not go into telling those stories. Let us focus on how homosexuality begins in an individual and then consider how wrong or right it is.

“I was born gay”

Some persons believe they are born homosexual. They therefore see no reason why they should be regarded aberrant for something they had no choice in determining. Is this really true? Is the term ‘homosexual’ a description of gender? Usually, people are born male or female. Nobody criticizes that. So get this first: homosexuality is a sexual orientation and not a sex (gender) that you are born with.

Sexual Orientation

The next question is this: Are people born with sexual orientation? What is sexual orientation, to start with? Sexual orientation is a term that describes an individual’s physical, romantic or sexual attraction towards a particular gender. Those attracted this way towards opposite sexes are heterosexual. The ones attracted in this manner to same sex are homosexual. While those attracted similarly to both sexes are bisexual. Sexual orientation is distinct from gender identity.

You are born male or female but not a gay or lesbian. No scientific research has been able to prove the existence of the homosexual gene in humans. Sexual orientation is like a fluid. It takes the form of the container (the mind) it is placed in. Psychologists believe social and environmental factors have roles to play in forming sexual orientation. When a child is born, it comes blank like a new page on which events are to be written. Life experiences begin to shape its behavior and responses.

The brain maturation process in adolescents plays its role in their sexual behavior. Adolescence is a transitional stage between childhood and adulthood. According to Gavin L, et al, the brain undergoes a ‘rewiring’ process that is not complete until approximately 25 years of age. The adolescence brain plasticity gives room for development of talents and lifelong interests. Majority of those that claim to be homosexuals develop this orientation as adolescent. Basically the bottom line is that homosexuality is an orientation that develops in the human brain overtime.
I did some understudies and interaction with homosexuals. I observed that there seem to be certain patterns that encourage homosexuality in adolescence. Some of them include:

• Cross-Dressing

Adolescents desire to express themselves their own way in dressing. Some grow fond of a parent or an older sibling who is of opposite sex. So much that they desire to dress like them. For instance a boy child who is always so keen on watching his elder sister makeup or do her hair. His interest in feminine lifestyle can grow gradually. Soon as a teenager you see him trying to dress like a girl. He carries on with feminine gestures and mannerism carelessly. Overtime his mind seems to adopt this lifestyle and he wants other boys’ attention drawn to him like a girl.

• Bad company

The old maxim ‘show me your friend and I will tell you who you are’ is very valid here. The Bible also warns that evil communication corrupts good manners. I have an adopted daughter whom I have always been worried about. I complained about the kind of friends I see her with. She called me one day. As we discussed over the phone she said “Aunty there is something I want to tell you”. She dropped the bombshell “I kind of like girls…” I knew what exactly she meant. It did not take me by surprise, though I was pained in my heart, . She had it coming.

• Passive parental-gender roles

Sometimes when children grow up in a home where the same-sex parent figure is passive, they tend to be drawn to the opposite sex. They start deriving pleasure in behaving like them. The instance of the boy child given earlier could have been motivated by a weak fatherly figure. The child may have gradually and unconsciously grown to despise him while adoring the mother and female siblings.

• Early sexual molestation

Parents and guardians have some serious roles to play in supervision of their kids right from those early years when they even think the kids are too young to understand sex. A major challenge the society faces today is the need for both parents to be working in order to meet up with the economic situation. This hardly leaves room for parents or guardians to adequately pay attention to the children and what they are learning or practicing in their absence. Some children are victims of their own parent or guardian and are too scared to report anyone. In other cases however some older friends of same gender expose their young minds to sex at a very tender age. They make them keep it secret as they grow up with a perverted view of sex.

• Partying

In a bid to be social like their friends, some adolescents adopt the life of the party personality. Before I got admission into my Alma mater, I attended a distance learning tertiary institution. I stayed in a tenement building (which we often call face-me-I-face-you apartment) with other school mates whom I became friends with. I was a young and naive virgin. In order not to be tagged ‘Holy Mary’ (which I eventually got by the way), I tried to hide my identity

They attended night parties and sometimes urged me to join them. Sometimes they sounded like they cared about me and did not want me to be all alone in the house. Well, maybe they truly cared by their thinking and I eventually went out with them a number of times after they must have promised to never leave me alone while at the party. From those my few experiences at school parties I can categorically say adolescence and night parties is a perfect recipe for sexual and social disorientation.

• Dreams

Some homosexuals believe they are made to be that way because they start out with erotic dreams . Dreams are not determinants of sexual orientation. They are only imaginary events that play in the mind sometimes from what the eyes must have seen especially when they are not revelations from God. For instance you may have never driven a car before yet drive in your dream. This is possible because you have seen a car been driven before. It may be difficult to explain how dreams work in some cases because even the devil uses dreams to manipulate human minds sometimes. However, dreams certainly do not define your sexuality.

These among others are ways people develop a wrong orientation about sex as they grow. When this unbridled lust matures, they assume it as an identity believing they were born homosexual.

Some persons play the victim role and ask questions like “why would God condemn me for being homosexual when He made me this way?” The answer is simple: God in His infinite wisdom would do no such thing. If He had made you that way, then He certainly would not condemn it. We hear and read of persons born blind, crippled or deformed in different ways. God never said such persons would go to hell. Why? It is because they never defied nature

In my next post we will examine God’s plan for sexuality and the transition process for homosexuals. Until then, meditate on these.

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